Oh, I Can Love

It’s not enough to feel this way.

You have to be able to tell someone and have them know.

They have to feel it, too.

Its not enough just to feel this way.

Who am I?

Only 24 hours ago I could tell you:

assured.

But now, 

It’s not enough to feel this way.

I thought I knew who I was.

The think which I am truly good at is love and 

Oh

I can love.

But today, 

I love and I feel this way.

It’s not enough to feel this way, 

I have to tell you and you have to know.

My chin quivers involuntarily,

my cheeks push up my eyelids and squeeze the tears from my eyes.

They salty sadness collects at a point on my chin and my nose.

Snot runs down and drips off but I don’t have the will to wipe my face.

Four inhales: hu hu hu hu

and a sharp exhale: huh

I thought I knew who I was.

I’m fetal in my head - 

I’m wrapped and warm but cold, still.

I’m crying for all the things I thought I knew for sure but that weren’t.

It’s not enough to feel this way.

Like everything in my body stopped,

waiting for me to give in, to stop breathing 

just because it hurts.

I can’t make you feel this way, I would never want to.

But it’s not enough just to feel this way,

I don’t know who I am.