I Cannot Forget The Woman Who Disgusts Me

I woke up this morning

disgusted;

with myself.

The taste of disdain

on my lips;

agonizing loneliness crushes my hips.

I woke up this morning

sick;

with anguish.

Jiggling fat at my thighs;

paralyzing sadness in my eyes.

I woke up this morning

wreaking;

of should haves and can’ts.

The pang of “hideous” hits my tongue.

The sting of all the things I should have done.

Sometimes I see what they see

beauty;

in this body costume

in this disguise.

But sometimes it’s just all sadness leaking from me.

War wages for my body;

on and on I’m guilded from doubt.

A battle for my parts is beating;

slow and slow a fight for my heart.